Job Talk Horror Stories!

[justforfun]

Got to thinking about job talks, the awkwardness of these campus visits, teaching demo disasters, etc. with a colleague and thought it would be fun/funny to see if there were any job talk horror stories this year!?

No horror stories here but I did learn in a very awkward and hard way NOT to rely too heavily on student participation during teaching demo's... ::crickets crickets::

Share at your own risk I guess... Since specifics may "out" you!

[firealarm]

Nothing too terrible to report, but there was a 3 am fire alarm at the hotel I was staying at. The guests had to evacuate their rooms for approximately 20-30 minutes. I was very tired, but I at least had a funny story to share when one-on-ones lulled.

[mine]

I've done lots of interviews over the years and I have a few interview stories.

Here's my Bad-Interview-Top 10:

1) A faculty member told me after my talk that, although it was good, she'd never vote for or support a male job applicant.

2) Entire campus quarantined due to norovirus outbreak during my interview.

3) 1-in-100-year blizzard during my interview. Many people I was supposed to meet with couldn't make it to campus.

4) They e-mailed and changed topic of my teaching demonstration 5 hours before my flight left.

5) School had no money to take me out to eat, so we did a pot-luck dinner at one of the prof's houses. Insightful and frightening in terms of budget, but turned out to be a really nice time.

6) Asked tons of illegal questions at one interview. Had the equal opportunity officer come to meet with me and to get me to sign a form saying I wouldn't sue.

7) Had to go out to dinner with the search committee after 24-hours of flying/airports and a 3-hour bus-ride (i.e., after 27 hours of travel).

8) Arrived at interview to find out position would likely be eliminated (it did end up being eliminated). Had to go through the motions anyway.

9) Had an interviewing department never get back to me. Interviewed and then never heard from them again.

10) Messed up copying and pasting my regression table in my job-talk powerpoint file. Was reading the wrong numbers and (understandably) confused by my own results. One of the attendees called me on it. Didn't get the job. (But now I'm glad I didn't. Serendipity). Learned a lot.

[top 3]

Well, not related to the job talk specifically, but I do have some interview horror stories. My top 3:

1) During lunch at one interview, none of the faculty spoke to me and instead gossiped the entire time about the new Dean. This school was too poor to take me to dinner, so the search committee chair took me to a taqueria on the corner and I ate my dinner in a dank motel room by myself watching "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."

2) I was talking with a faculty member about one of her research partners, who I mentioned that I would like to meet. To which she replied, "you didn't know that she died?"

3) On a different interview at an elite SLAC for some reason they booked my interview for Dec 21st, meaning that none of the students were there (even though the students had a vote for the hire). At the dinner that evening I had to use the bathroom but the women's room was occupied. The server told me to go ahead and use the men's room. I thought I locked the door, but apparently not, as one of the male faculty members pushed open the door and I looked up at him from my perch on the toilet. Needless to say, THAT was awkward...

[fdas]

Mar 11, 2013 16:22:11 GMT -5 @top 3 said:

3) On a different interview at an elite SLAC for some reason they booked my interview for Dec 21st, meaning that none of the students were there (even though the students had a vote for the hire). At the dinner that evening I had to use the bathroom but the women's room was occupied. The server told me to go ahead and use the men's room. I thought I locked the door, but apparently not, as one of the male faculty members pushed open the door and I looked up at him from my perch on the toilet. Needless to say, THAT was awkward...

Awkward indeed! Hah!

[asdf]

I don't have anything that would actually constitute a horror story. I do have a ton of stories from interviewing at mostly smaller places and regional state schools where things were very different from the R1 world we all come from. That is, I share this in hopes that people are aware of what is out there and what can happen:

1- Institution: regional state school
- Lots of distress at this institution. Faculty were really concerned with low salaries. I heard from the department chair that they might have to tutor high school kids in the summer to make ends meet once they were no longer chair and the pay bonus that comes with it went away.
- Lots of institutional uncertainty. Dean told me that the masters program was being canceled, and that the dept. might be merged with anthropology. Faculty were unaware of it and probed me for details/gossip during dinner.
- Instructors and adjuncts were being let go, and I met with one of the instructors for lunch and they participated in the department wide interview.
- Tons of illegal questions about my partner, whether my partner'd be happy there, etc.

2- Institution: urban branch of big state school
- A couple of very, very bitter faculty who were there not out of choice, but because they failed to get tenure at the main branch.

3- Institution: STEM-oriented branch of big state system
- I don't want to derail this with talk of internal candidates, but I did have an interview at a place where they were pretty clearly conducting a sham search. I know this because of the following:
- Never received a schedule. Once I got there, I figured out why.
- I only had 2 interviews. This was a multidisciplinary department that included anthro, polisci, etc. My day started with a 10am interview with the head of the department. They were in anthropology and admitted during the interview that they didn't vote on the search, but merely sent the recommendation up. After that, an interview with the dean, who also didn't vote, though they did have final approval.
- After the 2 interviews, I had my teaching demonstration. It was so poorly advertised that only 1 student showed up, and who left as soon as I opened it up for discussion.
- Lunch with 2 faculty members, who proceed to talk amongst themselves. The only one who had anything to say to me was the assistant professor, who later also told me, in an almost apologetic tone, that they had no vote.
- Entire afternoon by myself at my hotel.
- Dinner was supposed to be with the entire department. But only 3 people showed up on account that there was a guest speaker in anthro who was giving a talk at precisely the same time as dinner with me.
- Months later, I find out they hired the lecturer who also had their BA at that institution.

[me too]

I completely hear you about the sham search. I had an extremely similar experience with a big STEM-focused social science dept in a big state system (almost makes me wonder if we interviewed at the same place). For those of you who might be worried about this, here's the three main warning signs I picked up on:

1) No meetings scheduled in the afternoon
2) Almost everyone in the dept on the tenure track used to be a lecturer there
3) One of the other candidates received their BA from the program and/or is a lecturer there

I went out there with a hunch that was totally confirmed while there. Looking back I really wish I hadn't done the interview, as not only was it time consuming but I also caught a flu on the second day.

[OP]

Wow! Hahaha Some of these are awful and/or hilarious..... The bathroom mishap sounds dreadful! And I'm sorry to hear about the sham searches - what a let down. I hope despite these awkward stories, you all had a successful search.

[Oy]

Search committee chair fell asleep during my job talk. Literally, dozed in and out throughout the talk.

I did not get the job.

[sleepin]

Maybe the chair. Maybe not. But a prominent faculty member nonetheless fell asleep during my talk, as well. Still got the job, though.

[uh]

I had faculty coming in and out during my entire job talk like it was a revolving door. By the time it was over, the remaining faculty had only seen the last half of it. I did not get this job.

During a teaching demo, a faculty member rolled his eyes, yawned loudly, put his face in his hand and shook his head....

Same institution, I had the Dean ask me all sort of offensive questions regarding how old I was; she questioned the rigor of our program because she thought I was "too young" looking.

[haha]

These are great. My favorite interview story is that a police officer came to escort a student out of class during my teaching demo. Wasn't as bad for me as it was for the student, I suppose.

[lmao]

Mar 11, 2013 22:22:17 GMT -5 @haha said:

These are great. My favorite interview story is that a police officer came to escort a student out of class during my teaching demo. Wasn't as bad for me as it was for the student, I suppose.

Whaaaaaaaaaaa! Hahahhaha!!! Terrible.

[LMAO]

Mar 11, 2013 22:22:17 GMT -5 @haha said:

These are great. My favorite interview story is that a police officer came to escort a student out of class during my teaching demo. Wasn't as bad for me as it was for the student, I suppose.

How in the blue hell did you not burst into laughter when that went down?!

[metoo]

The search chair fell asleep in one of my job talks too. The best part is that one of my advsors called it. My advisor said "He will probably fall asleep because he had a big lunch." It was hard not to laugh when he did doze off.