ASA if pregnant?

[second trimester]

I'm TT at a R1. Top 40.
 
I'm also in my second trimester. I'm debating whether to go to ASA when I'm showing like this. I would go to network, check-in with folks outside my dept etc.

Thoughts?

And yes, it stinks that I'm thinking about this but since we know discrimination against mothers is real, I'd love your advice.

Thank you kindly!

[Visibility]

If you aren't explicitly on the job market, I can't see a likely path for discrimination here. Tenure letter writers seem unlikely to remember this or even notice (I wouldn't, and I'm a likely tenure letter writer for many people).

More importantly from my point of view, being visibly pregnant or disabled or out about a variety of statuses I while going about the business of being an academic is essential for changing culture. If we hide our realities from the men who think they are incompatible with being a scholar, nothing will ever change.

Everyone is in a different place in their lives, so I wouldn't presume to say everyone should be out about everything at all times. But if you are able to be out there, please do it for all of us.

[dismayed]

I can't believe it's 2014 and I'm still seeing posts like this. I would understand (wait... no I wouldn't) if the OP was on the job market and didn't want to reveal to potential employers that she was pregnant. But, that someone feels she needs to skip a professional meeting entirely because of these concerns.. sounds like we're living in the 1920's when pregnant teenagers were sent to another state to live with extended family... or were kept in the house so neighbors didn't see them. It's crazy.

It all speaks to how un-family-friendly our supposedly progressive discipline is. When I was a first year graduate student (2002-ish), we were all told that we couldn't talk about our spouses or children around the department. Supposedly if we did that, faculty members would see us as unprofessional and would stop investing time in us. I had a colleague with two kids... and nobody knew that she had two kids until several years into the program. What other workplace is like that?

I agree with the above poster. The culture will *never* change if we continue to hide pregnancy, our spouses, and/or our families from coworkers and colleagues. I'm male, so I can't tell my female colleagues what they should or shouldn't do. But, given that I'm now tenured, I can and will strike down that bulls**t the second that I see it occurring -- whether it's at ASA or in my own department. This has to stop. Seriously.

[also a mom]

I am a mother as well, I understand the fear you may feel, but I too agree that you should attend. I withheld the fact that I was a mother while on the market but after I landed my job I felt that it should no longer be a secret. I actually think I should have never made it a secret. The department I am at is welcoming to parents and it actually makes us more relatable to each other. More departments should be open to this and it can literally start with talking about our children or showing up to meetings pregnant.

In any case, I often see children running around ASAs and they have a daycare option as well. This will be the first year my son will make an ASA appearance and I am not making any apologies for it.

[sarc]

Jul 21, 2014 13:17:23 GMT -5 Visibility said:

 If we hide our realities from the men who think they are incompatible with being a scholar, nothing will ever change.

That's right, it is only men who ever think this way.

[agree]

I can't believe there are so many sexist men out there even in our academic discipline. That's why it is so important to support SWS and all the values it represents. Only banding together can we identify and counter those who try to penalize us for our right to be both mothers AND academics.

[It ain't just the men]

Puh-leeze this isn't just a problem with men. In fact, most of the most egregious gender issues I've come across in my career (15 years post phd) have been perpetrated by women, and specifically women of a particular vintage.

For example having dinner with the very well known senior female faculty member during an interview and getting grilled if I was married, do I have kids, what my spouse does. Clearly trolling for info.
Or the meeting with a dean who was a prominent female gender scholar who asked if I was married and would be bringing a family with me.

My own dean is the prototypical classic battle-ax. She is very tough on female faculty members and family issues, makes the bare minimum accommodations legally required (and some of questionable legality). There is a group of women in those cohorts that came into the academy in the 70 and 80s that had to make lots of career family sacrifices. While that is an unfortunate fact many of these women resent the more open options available to today's female academics and seem to have no qualms about it. I'm guessing there is at least one of these specimens in most departments and many occupy prominent roles.

[idk]

How are you a sociologist? Seriously, this is some of the least sociological, most anecdotal thinking I've ever seen. I'd challenge this statement from a freshman in Soc 101.

[hm...]

^ jeez dude, lay off. This isn't a journal article in Work and Family, this is an online forum.

It is certainly a cultural thing too. My experience of attending European conferences is being surprised by the many, many pregnant Scandinavian women... almost like they have norms that see little conflict with having family and a career. Plus the social welfare system, of course.

[whose responsibility]

Is it really the responsibility of the TT professor to change the culture around motherhood? Note she didn't ask for social movement tactics. She asked for counsel for her as an individual in the face of real discrimination. I've been in your situation and my advice is go to ASA if you want to and think it will be helpful. Do not talk generally about your pregnancy and wear clothes that do not flaunt it. Expect some awkward and potentially cringe-worthy responses. 

Your first responsibility is to yourself and supporting your family. 

Flame away!

[reality check]

If your CV is subpar compared to your peers, then you might consider laying low. If your peers are trailing in your dust, then please go ahead and strut.

[grow up]

Jul 28, 2014 14:49:32 GMT -5 idk said:

How are you a sociologist? Seriously, this is some of the least sociological, most anecdotal thinking I've ever seen. I'd challenge this statement from a freshman in Soc 101.

Yes I suppose you would. And I would have too 15 years ago. Because this sounds exactly like someone whose never actually been in an academic job. Or had any job in the real world for that matter.

It's not like I'm denying patriarchy. Nor am I denying that men engage in this type of behavior or that they even constructed the academic culture that is hostile to families.

I'm simply pointing out that there is a cohort of women who for a whole variety of reasons have internalized the discriminatory ideologies that many of us have chaffed against and who actively aid and abet these practices and do so with aplomb. I was simply pointing out my experience as a female academic who has children and who has been around the block a few times and dealt with these issues first hand and so I'm not so naive so as to make absurd statements like:

"If we hide our realities from the men who think they are incompatible with being a scholar, nothing will ever change."

or 

"I can't believe there are so many sexist men out there even in our academic discipline. That's why it is so important to support SWS and all the values it represents. Only banding together can we identify and counter those who try to penalize us for our right to be both mothers AND academics."

You see I've sat in the faculty meetings were we have debated someone's tenure case and seen one of my female colleagues make a very vocal case that we should deny a woman tenure, despite the fact she had met all the criteria we normally expect because "big whoop she had an extra year" because the woman had stopped her clock to have a baby.

And by the way this woman was actually someone who has played a prominent role in SWS. Go figure!

But hey if you want to continue in your naive delusions that this problem is solely about evil oppressive men then be my guest and know you do so at your own risk.
If you think this post sounds condescending then good. It was meant to.

[idk]

okay grow up. Maybe I was too harsh.

[Practical advice...]

Another strategy, if this doesn't bother you ethically and if you're not too far along, is to just say that you're fat.

I'm a lady. I have... ahem, a beer gut. It's just where I gain weight. People ask me often enough if I'm preggers and the best response I've got is "no, I'm just fat." And yes, this drives me completely bonkers that I even get asked this, because f-you beauty norms, even if this is genuinely related to my love of tasty, tasty beer.

YMMV.

[Go! Please, go!]

As a junior scholar and a mother, I completely understand the question and concern. And yes, it's incredible that this is a real concern. When I was pregnant (and on the job market), I was asking the same questions. I absolutely hated when people suggested I just act like I was fat. Because the truth of the matter is that there is a stigma against fat women (and men, but especially women), too, so it's a matter of choosing what kind of 'deviant' you want to be -- and feeling the consequences.

But, I hope you go. I hope you go because it makes me happy to see families at the ASA, to see young women scholars who are pregnant. It would have done me a world of good when I was a graduate student to see a presenter completely knock it out of the park and see oh yeah, she's pregnant too. The more I can see it, and see women being successful while parenting, the better I feel about my own chances. 

And for God's sake! Please don't choose your clothes to try to hide yourself. That's an erasure of self and identity, and the expectation to do so is a violence itself.

We need to come up with some sort of 'solidarity' expression -- like, some sort of wave or thumbs up that's says "You go girl. Be your own self. It's hard, but there's a lot of us our here."