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Post by deblues on Sept 25, 2011 1:58:45 GMT -5
My committee is reviewing chapters of my dissertation. This is more nerve-wracking than waiting to hear back about jobs and post-doc applications. The reason? I have this deep fear that my dissertation is mediocre at best and perhaps even crappy. I wanted to throw the pages at them, then cover my face while I run away to hide. (The visual works better without the reality of email.)
Maybe I need to stay in grad school another year so I can spin this straw into gold. Or maybe it's late on a Saturday night and I just need to go to bed.
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Post by top100program on Sept 25, 2011 3:58:27 GMT -5
Gee, this sounds very familiar. I felt the same way just before I defended (as well as with every comp ever taken). And I was surprised each time I made it over the hurdle in question. Some things can be made better, no doubt, but then again, one of my committee member's sayings was always "the best dissertation is a done dissertation."  Also, the concept of "imposter syndrome" always resonated with me in relation to the work I did in grad school. Maybe it will be helpful for you: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndromeHere's hoping things look better for you in the morning... |
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Post by sigh on Sept 25, 2011 11:30:28 GMT -5
If your committee is reviewing chapterS at this point in the year, then I'd say you're doing fine. You are probably just worried that they aren't going to be good enough, but they will probably be fine. All writing requires editing. It's only September. At this point, even if they wanted you to do a major overhaul on a chapter, you would have plenty of time to re-run models and rewrite/edit your work and still defend in time to take a job for next year.
What about people who are completely doubting their ability to finish in time? I'm starting to panic about that. Anyone stuck? Can we turn this into a thread with useful writing tips for getting unstuck and/or for just making continual progress?
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Post by Youre fine on Sept 25, 2011 15:48:25 GMT -5
When I submitted my dissertation draft (a number of years ago now), I too felt doubt and anxiety. But I trusted my committee; I selected them for a reason. They took the time to craft some great criticisms. And their ideas were all meant to get me to the defense. They didn't demand a perfect dissertation, just one that was the best I could do within the time-frame of the program. The edits were all reasonable.
If your committee now has your draft. Relax and take comfort in the fact that you HAVE DONE A DRAFT! That's awesome. The hard work is done.
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Post by imposter on Sept 25, 2011 22:02:14 GMT -5
@sigh...I feel the same way! I am worried that I won't finish. It's a nightmare, actually. I know I will, but the worry is very, very real. I have spent SO much time working on job app materials that it is taking away my diss work time. What good is a stellar job app and (hopefully) interviews if I don't get done. Ugh. Could this BE any more stressful? We are a bunch of sadists, I think. |
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Post by syndrome be gone on Sept 26, 2011 9:13:48 GMT -5
I had imposter syndrome throughout my grad studies and was afraid that it would continue on into my professional career.
But thank goodness it finally went away when I completed my dissertation. I thought, "This isn't the most amazing dissertation ever written, it probably won't win any awards, but I wrote a dissertation."
And I haven't had imposter syndrome since. I hope the same for you, hang in there.
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Post by icringe on Sept 28, 2011 18:36:33 GMT -5
Some of these feelings are normal/common. I am tenured at a top-20 department and graduated from a top-5. Occasionally I have to dig out my diss to look up an old citation or something and I nearly always cringe while reading it. However, the ideas where really good even if the writing wasn't always equal to the task. Papers from the diss appeared in top journals. My point is that as long as the ideas are good they can always be whipped into shape for publication. Odds are that if your committee OKd the proposal then the ideas are solid. Despite having a successful career, to this day I still have a gut feeling that my grad school advisor thinks I'm a total idiot. The best dissertation is not a finished dissertation. The best dissertation is a published dissertation. But a finished one is 2nd best.  |
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Post by one click away on Oct 2, 2011 12:09:23 GMT -5
Some of these feelings are normal/common. Despite having a successful career, to this day I still have a gut feeling that my grad school advisor thinks I'm a total idiot. . ;D glad this is not an uncommon feeling.well, sorta. |
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