we all need a good laugh

[jokester]

Story : Scene: It's a fine, sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"

Rabbit:"My thesis."

Fox:"Hmm. What is it about?"

Rabbit:"Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

(incredulous pause)

Fox:"That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!"

Rabbit:"Come with me, and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf:" What's that you are writing?"

Rabbit:" I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

(loud guffaws)

Wolf:" You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

Rabbit:" No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing? "

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eats bears."

Bear: "Well that's absurd!

Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

SCENE: Inside the rabbit's burrow. In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

------------------------- THE END -------------------------

MORAL:

-- It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject. -- It doesn't matter what you use for your data. -- What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

*Security check: "have fun"

[jokester]

The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students -- taken from the Harvard Crimson

10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.

9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.

8. My work has a lot of practical importance.

7. I would never date an undergraduate.

6. Your latest article was so inspiring.

5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.

4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.

3. The department is giving me so much support.

2. My job prospects look really good.

1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Top Five Lies Told by Teaching Assistants:

5. I'm not going to grant any extensions.

4. Call me any time. I'm always available.

3. It doesn't matter what I think; write what you believe.

2. Think of the midterm as a diagnostic tool.

1. My other section is much better prepared than you guys.

[jokester]

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A GRAD STUDENT IF:

- You can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.

- Your cubicle is better decorated than your apartment.

- You have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.

- You are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.

- You have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.

- You rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.

- Everything reminds you of something in your discipline.

- You have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.

- You have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.

- There is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."

- You actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.

- You can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.

- You look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.

- You regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.

- You consider all papers to be works in progress.

- Professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.

- You find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.

- You have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.

- You have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.

- You reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.

- You find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".

- You start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."

- You frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy

- You look forward to taking some time off to do laundry

- You have more photocopy cards than credit cards

- You wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication"

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else." Michael Ludwig Spittel University of Wisconsin Department of Sociology/Rural Sociology

[grad students]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XViCOAu6UC0