selling out my dream

[cdu]

I am at a point where financial insecurity has me thinking about giving up my dream and settling for something else, either outside the academe or applying at a community college. I had been in the job market for two years now and although I had been able to get visiting positions which keep me afloat, the tenure-track position has remained elusive. I am not sure if I want to go on living with this kind of financial insecurity and bouncing around after so many years of invested time, effort and money in my graduate studies.

Although I know that applying to a community college does not necessarily mean that I would get the job, I feel that doing so makes me feel bad about my life and that I lost out and sold my dream.

I am not sure how to straddle through being realistic about my options and wanting stability and security. I would greatly appreciate anyone's advice or help me see things from a different perspective.

[Options]

This job market is really tough. I don't think it would be in any way selling out to make stability and financial security a priority above other ideals. It is easy to get so wrapped up in the politics of academia and forget that there are indeed other ways to make a living and have a happy life. In fact, as rewarding as being an academic can be, it pales in comparison to the rewards of the other big things in life, that so often get shuffled aside, postponed, or given short shrift to meet the immediate demands that seem to quickly eclipse all else in the increasingly "publish or perish" environment that the entire discipline and system of higher ed seems to be shifting towards. I had to frequently remind myself that not getting a TT job in a sociology department didn't have to mean I could never work again and would be an utter failure in life. I could do other things, in other disciplines, even other jobs entirely, if it didn't work out. It would be a disappointment, but it would be okay.

CC jobs have their own rewards. Everything is trade-offs. Think about what is most important to you in life. And if the answer is a period of peace and stability, think about your options as broadly as you can, and what is most likely to bring you that. And know that even if you let go of some dreams, you might find others you didn't even know you wanted yet.

If that's not too cliche!

[cdu]

Thanks, Options. Believe it or not, your words calmed me down and helped me see my situation in a different light. My situation is still bad but my attitude towards it changed a bit. It is amazing how a stranger's words can have that effect on us. So thank you. Very much.